An email confirmed this week that our girl had her surgery.  In Beijing.  A billion miles away and without her family there to hold her and whisper in her ear that it’ll be ok, that mama’s here.  And while it all came out ok, with Father standing in as He does so well and The Peace House being the next best thing to the Vos house, I suppose, it was only cosmetic surgery.  Not the life saving palate surgery she needs to be able to eat.  So disappointing and yet, the email came minutes before the news that our home study has been approved and so the pit in my stomach on learning they’d only done plastic surgery and not the reconstructive she desperately needs got shelved in the interest of madly filling out our I800a forms and writing checks and making sure I’d filled in all the boxes so that we can send our home study off and get one step closer to China.  To her.  And that frenzy died a bit on learning that the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services office is taking longer than usual to process these forms.  That our dossier might not be sent off for four months.  And so we swallowed that bitter pill and got caught up in the frenzy of helping Jase and Willie and the Veterinarian and the Cowgirl have a rollicking fun Halloween kicked off by our best neighbors gathered around our kitchen noshing on pizza and cider and then heading out to the most amazing, fully enclosed greenhouse on wheels for a wagon ride around the neighborhood to collect cavities and memories.  It was, in a word, great.  Kids climbing up boxes of books to perch on our bookshelves like gaudily dressed owls.  Little ones and old alike scampering in and out of the wagon boasting of candy bars!  The big ones!  Great.

And so today finds us with lazy time on our hands, eating smoothie pampcakes and watching old episodes of Phineas and Ferb (I love those guys) and waiting for the phone call that our home study is ready to we can fly over to pick it up and hand deliver it to Fed Ex.  And we will pray over it on the drive, you bet we will.  Pray that Father supernaturally speeds it through offices and back to us so we can put it with our dossier and send it off.  Pray that we get there.  Soon.  So that we can get her home.  Soon.  So that she can have her palate fixed and be able to eat.  Soon.  But until then we will praise.  Not soon, but now.  Not when we have answers and confirmation and security, but now when everything is all mixed up and sideways and totally scary.  When we see Father’s loving hand moving in and around us and, yes, through us, thank Him.  Not only during the flow, but during the ebb as well, because we are in an ebb season, I think.  But ebb is nothing without flow, so we wait in anxious wonder to see what He will do.  How He will show up.  And we praise him for the email I read yesterday while dancing around the kitchen readying it for a pizza party.  The one that said, “Yes, please rest assured, since your LOI has been uploaded to the CCCWA website your match (with Xia YuChen) is secure.”  Which is adoption mumbo jumbo for this: she is ours and we are hers and nothing can change that now.  So we are running to our girl, via Fed Ex and a thousand whispered prayers and a blessing given each morning when we know she’s being readied for bed, the same one our kids here get each night at bedtime:
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord’s face radiate with joy because of you (and I know it does).
May his gracious favor be upon you and
his blessed peace be all around you (as you sleep tonight).
Everything in parenthesis is mine.  The rest is all Father.
This is me being real.  And wondering if you’re in the ebb or flow and how you’re doing there?

One Reply to “update.”

  1. Because once a mother, always a mother, even when my children have children, I am in the ebb of life. Several in my family are in the ebb, so that means as their mother I am there also. But it is in the ebb that God works and allows us to grow, and trust. It's choosing to praise Him in the ebb, that makes the flow that much sweeter.


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