I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is a foreign country. I don’t speak the language fluently, the natives are only partially housebroken or civil and the water is completely undrinkable. Thankfully it boasts good food and a steady stream of stories I’m tucking away for the day when I once again live in a civilized place where kids don’t pee off the deck or come inside and grab a cookie with frog cooties on their hands. And someday, I’m told, I’ll miss it here, which is why I try to get away a couple times a year and vacation in civilized countries with 500 thread count sheets and turn down service. Those lovely amenities serve as a crucial reminder that even though this is the weirdest place to live, even though only half of us wear underwear on a regular basis, even though a third of us are armed, I’m having my visa renewed because I love to visit the beautiful places. But I only want to live here.
This is the frog habitat the kids made for Burpy, Feisty, Jumpy, Nicey and Twinkle. It’s made of the kiddie pool I used to let my kids play in until right now. And rigid pink insulation. It’s totally green and completely recyclable. That’s just how we roll.
She was not helping so much as chewing her dinner and cheering for the frogs when they jumped. She’s only wearing a leotard because earlier she fell into the habitat and I made her take a tub to wash off the germs. What she was wearing earlier was even uglier and less appropriate.
I went out to meet the frogs and to see this masterpiece in my back yard. Then I threw up a little in my mouth thinking of all the hours that pool has entertained my kids with clean things like bubbles and Barbie swim parties (don’t judge me).
Did I mention before that the natives are incredibly adorable? Even covered with slime and frog cooties, which I’ve told them will give them warts if they don’t wash it off with antibacterial soap. I like to just be up front with my kids right from the get go. Saves heart ache later on.
What fun, disgusting, awesome things are you doing this weekend?
This is me being real. Headed to check if they have a Rosetta Stone for this place on Amazon.