enough.

I miss the beach.  Miss digging my toes in and watching the kids battle the waves while I catch up with sisters and mom, Mol and I taking turns running to the water line and shouting reminders to come back to shallower waters and put a lifejacket on.  Miss finishing sentences, sometime so many that I’d run out.  But only for sec and then more would stream into mind and out of mouth and we’d be off again.  And the hour and a half we snatched Monday didn’t come close, despite candy corn and cousins reunited.  But it did birth this thought: shouldn’t motherhood be enough?  For one sister (you know who you are) it always has been, but for me and the other sister it hasn’t.  So why is it that we feel the need to join groups and lead discussions and part-time ourselves out in the name of being productive?  Why?  No answers, just a lovely drive home committing to let motherhood be enough.  To not fight the battle between aching that my kids are gone all day and wishing Lucy were too so I could have more time to myself, but to fall somewhere in the middle where I can accept both emotions as they come and just be.  Here.  With these people, whichever ones are home.  Doing this thing called motherhood.  And recognizing that this is my ministry.  This kitchen is my street corner and from it I can preach the salvation of my children and their friends and I can help to nourish bodies and souls and I get to do this.  Not have to.  Get to.  That is my divine privilege.  That when God said to let the little children come to him and do not hinder them for to them belongs his Kingdom, he was actually talking to me.  And I’m listening again, because I forgot to listen to that directive for a bit, but I’m listening now.  And I’m committing myself to more days at home in warm nummies, some British guy reading the Jesus Storybook Bible from the computer and making this place a refuge and a church for my family.  And not feeling guilty that I’m not on the PTO or baking cookies for the school fundraiser or a million other things that can pull me away from here.  Because this is my street corner.  And it is enough.
This is me being real.

2 Replies to “enough.”

  1. thanks, megan. i needed this word today, too. i'm with you and The Other Sister of yours who struggles to believe that motherhood is enough. and i only have one little person to mother so far… which makes it especially difficult to believe, some days, that giving the majority of myself to her is “enough.”

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  2. Wow, thank you. Brooke sent me this link and before I was even finished reading the post, I was in a full-on ugly cry. God has been trying to teach me this lesson over and over recently – your words were his way of speaking to me, yet again…reminding me that motherhood is in itself a calling and it's enough. Blessings to you today.

    Like

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