conjoined.

These two frogs were joined together at birth.
That’s called being conjoined twins.
These frogs are conjoined twins.
That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.  Because these two frogs were the funniest part of Mother’s Day.  The poor guy on top just wanted to finish, but the kids kept trying to pull them apart.  We lit a tiny cigarette for him as a consolation prize, but he didn’t want it.  Just wanted to finish.
Papa bought the conjoined twins story, but only because Nana and the aunts were laughing too hard to say, Dad, seriously, they’re not conjoined.  Think about it.
Which he did a minute later and stopped washing dinner dishes long enough to bend over and belly laugh. But only once the kids were out the door.  And only after he saw how tightly the guy on top had his arms wrapped under his girlfriends little froggy armpits.  He was not going to let go until he was finished.
We did explain to the kids on the way home, since they were plotting how to spring this amazing scientific discovery on their classes.  There was even talk of contacting National Geographic.  So we explained that they weren’t actually conjoined.  And Grant, who has had the full talk you’ll remember, said, Oh, wait…so they were sexing?
Yup.  They were sexing.
Which I guess at the end of the day, especially one spent outside celebrating mothers by getting muddy and covering yourself with amphibian germs, is sort of the same thing as being conjoined.  Sorta.

5 Replies to “conjoined.”

  1. I don't dare deal in superlatives when it comes to you, because you'll continue to surprise and delight no doubt, but here goes: funniest ever? perhaps. Keep 'em coming sister. Keep 'em coming.

    And as for your last post. Bless you for the cautionary tale. I can easily see your history repeating itself at our house, especially when it comes to our little middle gear hoarder. You know, the one who lives in triple knit?

    Like

  2. So glad this struck a funny chord with friends. We always love to have others laugh at our expense. And Mia, you will walk the sport coat road with that boy. I can feel it. Lucky for you, I've kept said coat, so we can break him in gently.

    Like

  3. Oh, Meg, hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Can just see you all belly laughing!!! How fun. Great to see you tonight. 🙂 XOXO

    Joyce

    Like

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