This kid turned eight today. Eight.
Which means that eight years ago today I also was born into this wonderful, scary role of mother. Well, before that even, but eight years ago today it became tangible. So much so that I ache a little thinking of how quickly these eight years have flown by and how many amazing things he’s done that I’ve probably been too preoccupied to notice. How many things I’ve missed by saying, “Just a sec.” or by choosing laundry or one last swipe of the countertop over flopping down on the floor with him and engaging. I’m going to do better. Meanwhile, here are some things I haven’t missed:
His lips are curly and his eyes are twinkly. He’s developing a great sense of humor coupled with a knack for delivering punchlines at just the right moment. He’s always been funny. And he used to say the most delightful things like, “O-tay” and “benumber (remember)” and “necorize (recognize)”. When he did that I wanted to chew on his lip. I still do.
He is tender and kind. He always has been. He is sensitive to the feelings of others. He’s a thinker. Sometimes I catch him with a faraway look in his eyes and I know there is a storm of thought brewing in his head and that if he can’t puzzle it out himself he’ll ask eventually.
He was named after Grant, MI. Well, not really, but we got the idea driving up to Dan’s parents in Newaygo when we were pregnant. If you’ve ever driven through Grant, MI, you’ll understand why we may lie about the origin of his name. Every one looks like they’re having a yard sale. No one is. And the billboard you pass on your way out is the cherry on top: Credit Stink? Then check out poopycredit.com. It’s an actual website. I googled it.
We took him on a lunch date today, just him and Dan and me and I realized for the first time, maybe, that someday I wouldn’t be the most important girl in his heart anymore. And so I resolve to pray harder for her. That God will protect her from harm and spend these years molding her into just the person Grant needs her to be so that he can be just the man God intends him to be. And that I’ll be able to let him go when it’s time. And that that day won’t come for a long time. Because I’m holding on to him as tightly as I safely can and I’m sucking the marrow out of this gift of a kid who I adore. So much.
“We prayed for this child and God gave us what we prayed for. For the rest of his life we will give him back to God.” Didn’t know really what this verse was about when we chose it for his birth announcements. Now, eight years into it I’m starting to get it. Sometimes a hundred times a day I have to remember that Grant was God’s before he was mine and he is God’s still. And in true Jesus fashion, I’ve been given something I completely don’t deserve. Not at all.
Be still my heart. This kid is eight.